Cute Mutants Vol 1: Mutant Pride by Whitby SJ
Author:Whitby, SJ
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-02T00:00:00+00:00
Iâm almost pathetically relieved to get home and find Pear is there. Theyâre on the couch reading some old sci-fi paperback with their glasses on. I slump on the couch beside them, almost touching.
âDilly.â The way they say my name has been a magic charm since childhood. It still works, but I wonder if it will ever wear off. âI feel like weâve been missing each other lately.â
âBusy bees,â I say. âNo Sarah tonight?â
âI love her,â Pear says absently, âbut sometimes itâs exhausting.â
âHa.â I nudge them with my elbow. âYou love her.â
âYouâre a remarkably immature child.â They smile and touch my hair. I lean back against them.
âI had a fight with Lou.â I recap the worst of it. Itâs hard to skirt the edges of my new mutancy, but I manage to. I talk about how he thinks Iâm in love with Alyse and how his jealousy is insanely annoying and how he thinks I like girls, when as far as Iâm concerned, I like people.
Pear grunts. They donât really get Louâs obsession with gender, even though they should because theyâve spent their own life trying to carve a space outside of it.
âIn an ideal world, none of it should matter,â Pear says eventually.
âIt does to Lou,â I point out.
âWeâre out of my territory,â Pear says. âSarah being a woman doesnât really mean anything to me. Itâs not anything about her looks that makes me like her.â Which is ridiculous, because I know Sarahâs in her thirties and a Mum and everything, but she is seriously good looking. âSheâs the kindest person Iâve ever met, and her smile lights up the world and thatâs what I love.â
âSo fucking sappy,â I say, and I laugh because itâs sweet and I adore it. Pear wasnât happy for a really long time, and itâs not like theyâre a ray of sunshine now, but itâs a lot better and a lot easier.
âSo what should I do about Lou?â I ask.
âDo you love him?â
I nod. I think so. Love doesnât make any sense, but the knot of emotion I feel is complicated enough to be love, isnât it?
âAnd youâre attracted to him?â
âDefinitely,â I say. Thatâs not the problem.
âAnd heâs kind to you.â
I start picking at the band of their smartwatch. When did they get a smartwatch?
âYes,â I say eventually, but itâs too close to the conversation I had with Alyse. Kindness is a hard thing to figure out. Sometimes people are kind when you donât expect it, like Dani checking in with me after my failure, when I was sure sheâd dismiss me with the full power of weaponised snootiness. I remember her hand, tentatively reaching out to touch my face.
I want to tell Pear everything. About my powers, about everyone else. About my failure. Yet even though weâre so close, thereâs a point we hit the parent/child divide. They still see me as a kid, and they care so much I canât see the edges of it. If I slit my heart down the middle and spill out all my loneliness and self-loathing, theyâll buckle under the weight of it.
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